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主题：真爱假爱 -- gogreen
家园 真爱假爱 想建个模型，研究一下长相，兴趣，收入，心动，恋爱，分手，幼稚，成熟，结婚，婚姻，孩子，真爱，假爱，小三，道德，离婚，年龄，还有时间之间的关系。太复杂了，无从下手。
就说真爱和假爱吧。真爱是什么呢？百度百科上面的定义
I-Inject ----投入
L-Loyal ----忠诚
O-Observant ----用心
V-Valiant ----勇气
E-Enjoyment ----喜悦
Y-yes ----愿意
O-Obligation ----责任
U-Unison ----和谐
八个字母，i love you, 意味着八个条件，真爱不容易获得。所以获得了真爱，就要珍惜吗？有时可能要付出很多抛弃一切来珍惜呢？还要珍惜吗？
假爱是什么？可能就是八个字母中有几个，但是不全，也许只有喜悦，没有责任，没有忠诚；也许有喜悦，有愿意，但是没有勇气；也许有责任，有和谐，但是没有喜悦。假爱，我们要鄙视之吗？发现是份假爱，要抛弃这份假爱，还是维持呢？
真爱+小三是什么？来自小三的爱是真爱吗？如果不是，鄙视之。如果是，真爱+小三+道德是什么？不道德的真爱是否要鄙视？真爱+小三+道德+孩子又是什么？不道德+对下一代不负责任的真爱是否要鄙视之？
假爱+道德是什么？有道德的假爱要维持吗？假爱+道德+孩子是什么？有道德有责任的假爱要维持吗？
我自己把自己说糊涂了。晕。
- 复 真爱假爱
家园 爱是那种非常形而上的感情 超越一切名相、规范、模型、言说。
爱甚至不可说，更不要说做了
我猜当我拿着百度百科上面的定义去寻找爱，是找不到的，爱如果只是那几条那么简单，它就不会成为几千年来无数文学作品中永远说不完的一个话题了。
一个人爱了，爱得真还是假，深还是浅，这个他自己如鱼饮水，冷暖自知，别人是没法判断的。
真爱是否在这个世界上存在？这个问题只能问自己，我猜当每个人扪心自问，他都会得出肯定的答案，我是推己及人的方法，因为在我生命的某个时候，我还是很真的爱过的，别人肯定也一样，一个人在他的一生中，必定都有过刻骨铭心爱过的经历
家园 爱是主观的感受 但是不能因为它是主观的感受就不给一个客观的定义吧。
当然这个客观的定义也不是被所有人接受的，因为个人看法都不一样。
- 复 真爱假爱
家园 以前在网上看到一句话，谁说的忘了。 “情侣是什么？情侣就是 朋友+性伴侣。”
所以我觉得，爱情是什么呢？爱情就是友情+性吸引。
然后婚姻是什么呢？就是朋友+性伴侣+利益。
如果婚姻中的双方，既能作为朋友互相尊重互相理解互相扶持，又是帅哥美女性生活又和谐，家里又不缺钱生活无忧，那这样的婚姻就真的是神仙眷侣了。
只可惜现实生活不如意之事十之八九，有不少人我看着觉得他两就是作为一般朋友都难相处的人 却结了婚，真是杯具啊。
家园 我觉得婚姻多少还有责任的成分在里面 而责任的比例应该大于利益，除非这是假婚姻，相互利用的。
婚姻=友情+性关系+责任？
至于小三，好像挺难定义的。从道德和人性角度这个定义是矛盾的。仁者见仁吧。
家园 marriage equation 我觉得，完美的婚姻还是要来自于真爱，双方向的真爱。因为有了真爱，双方就能欣赏对方的优点，容忍对方的缺点，就会负责任，讲道德。家庭生活往往不是一滩死水，而是随着某个equilibrium有幅度波动的。但是经过风雨后，幸福的家庭最终又总能回到equilibrium。如果不能在一定时间内回到equilibrium，那么婚姻就很可能会走向终点。
有数学家和心理学家一起研究出了一个数学婚姻模型，还为此出版了一本书。据他们的研究表明，模型预测结果准确度高达94%。他们的模型是根据实际心理实验数据产生的。心理试验就是请很多很多对夫妇到实验室，然后给个冲突的引子，让他们争吵十几分钟。experimenters时时记录他们争吵过程的情绪和用语的变化。模型是一个非线性的动态模型。有两个基本方程，一个是丈夫的情绪和语言怎么改变妻子的情绪和语言，另一个是妻子的怎么改变丈夫的。他们的基本观点就是，夫妻之间可以吵架，但是一定要床头吵架床尾合，也就是说负面的互动不要造成感情上的伤害，不能超过某个threshould。如果超过了，离婚的概率就很大。
Mathematician James Murray and psychologist John Gottman have developed a marital interaction theory based on key empirical findings from a large number of couples who have been tracked for the past 12 years. The mathematical model, of similar genre to those widely applied in the biomedical sciences, characterizes differences between different types of stable couples whose marriages are likely to last from two types of unstable couples. Changes over time in the parameters of the model can account for deterioration in a couple's relationship, and how their relationship could cross a threshold after which recovery becomes difficult. They have been able to predict the longitudinal course of marital relationships using this modeling, with an accuracy of 94%. With a couple's data they can simulate how this couple may interact under conditions different from those in which they were first observed. The modeling thus leads to "what if" thought experiments which can be used to help design new scientifically-based intervention strategies for troubled marriages.转个搞笑的marriage equation:
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men – earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women – spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
家园 Geek's Marriage Equation What are the chances my marriage will last?
A= Her age at time of marriage
E=Current combined years of post-high-school education
K= Number of kids from this marriage
R= How religious is the couple (1-10 with 10 being “the Pope”)
D= Combined number of divorces of couple’s parents
P= Combined previous marriages
T= Years at which you are computing the chances
H.e.a. stands for “Happily Ever After” and is the percent chance you will still be married at time “T”
Should we get married?
T= How many years have you been dating?
L= The number of times per day that something makes you think of this person
C= If your families got together for a holiday dinner, the estimated number of times there would be uncomfortable friction
S= How many shared interests and/or goals do you two have?
A= How many individual or conflicting interests and/or goals do you two have?
D= The average number of disagreements you have with this person in a month
If Ttk is above one, you should tie the knot
How many kids should you have?
外链图片需谨慎，可能会被源头改S= Your combined household salary
K= Combined, how many brothers and sisters do you and your spouse have (include yourselves in this number)
T= Combined hours per week you and your significant other work outside the house
A= On a scale from 1-10, the highest level of aversion you have to any of the following: Changing diapers, sleep deprivation, visiting in-laws, tantrums
E= On a scale from 1-10, how concerned are you about global overpopulation
外链图片需谨慎，可能会被源头改家园 赞 花~~~~
用第一个公式，给我自己算了一下，竟然是125% at year 7 after marriage。哈哈
- 复 真爱假爱
家园 路上听到一首歌 为什么不能好好地活着地爱？为什么要沦落到死了都要爱？
追求有道德的真爱才是解。结婚要慎重，离婚也是一样。