主题：请手边有英语笑话的人来帮个忙 -- 扬州小羊

口语课老师突然布置了一个作业，每人上台讲一个80单词左右的英语笑话，还要做成PPT的格式。。。。。。

我一琢磨，我只会中文的笑话，还都是什么北极熊拔毛冷死了或者火柴挠痒痒把自己烧死了之类的，或者是书记是市长生的市长在书记下面之类酒桌上带颜色的，所以只好求教手边有英文报纸之类的大拿帮帮忙，看能不能给我个英文笑话。

不清楚这种求助帖子应该放在哪里，只好发在新兵营了。

• 两个都说吧

比如：外链出处

Let me write one for you.

I passed a Kroger card in wallet for ID badge this morning and slide it when I was entering the front gate of the Institue. This made the guard, a good looking skinny girl sitting on a chair besides the gate, have a big laugh. So I came close to her and said, " Hey, yesterday, I opened the door by my credit card." Apparently, the gard was surprised, so she asked me " Did you?" "Yes, I did. However, later I found it was charged 100 bucks for that." Hearing this, the girl guard fell down from her chair.

• long time ago

An engineer sinned and he went to hell. Upon arrival, he started fixing things. Before long, water started flowing, heating worked again, and hell became a rather comfortable place to live. God heard about this and called Satan.

"I want this engineer up here."

"No way. I am keeping him here."

"If you don't let him go, I will sue you."

Satan laughed and laughed and laughed. God got angry:

"What's so funny?"

Satan replied:

"You want to sue me. Where do you think all the lawyers are?"

看着最后一句，兄弟琢磨了两遍才明白。

谢谢抓虫

这个本地的一个专业周报，顾名思义就是律师周报。不过我的同事，说这是好律师的报纸因为：it is lier (lawyer的谐音） weekly. Normally, lawyers lie everyday.

“chick”这样的词很敏感，用的场合不对的话有侮辱性。吃不准时还是不用最好。

本来这是多管闲事，但是我怕楼主把这个词放到presentation里去就麻烦了。

Joke la... not very serious to things mentioned in a joke otherwise it is not joke.

One dark night, two men were on the street, both were drunk.

One said "I'm not drunk"

The other said "Really?" He took out a flashlight, turned it on, and stood it on the ground "If you aren't drunk, why don't you climb up this light column"

The first man looked up, shook his head, and said "I told you I'm not drunk, I know what you are trying to do -- once I climb up there, you turn off the light, and I'll fall on my butt!"

用Word数了一下，正好88个字，不错吧

否则楼主也不用担心笑话是荤的还是素的了。有的美国人在political correctness上钻起牛角尖来不比当年红卫兵差，外国人为自己辩护时很容易再踩地雷，结果还是吃亏。我以前一个非洲来的同学就在这点上载过跟头（一个presentation得零分），当然他说的比“chick”严重得多。