主题：【文摘】来讲讲汽车的名字 -- 无边落木

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

-- Will Rogers

ACURA

Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead

AUDI

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW

Bavarian Money Waster

(Backwards) Waste My Bucks

Break My Wallet

BUICK

Built Using Inferior Car Knowledge

Butt Ugly Inefficient Chevy Knock-Off

CADILLAC

Certified As Detroit's Inadequate, Lumbering Luxury Auto Car

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

Competely Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

(CHEVY) Can't Have Expensive Vehicle Yet

Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

CHRYSLER

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair

DAEWOO

Da Awful Experience Was Owning One

Depreciation Always Eclipses Worst Of Others

DODGE

Dead On Day Guarantee Expires

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FERRARI

First Every Race Run, Always Really Incredible

FIAT

Fix It Again, Tony

Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation

FORD

Fixed Or Repaired Daily

Flips Over, Read Directions

First On Recall Day

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

(Backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

(Backwards) Don't Ride On Firestones

GMC

Got a Mechanic Coming?

Garage Man's Companion

General Motors Cashcow

Guaranteed Mechanical Calamity

HONDA

Happy Owners Never Drive Angry

Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything

Happy Owners Never Doubt Acquisition

Had One, Never Did Again

HYUNDAI

Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

INFINITI

It Never Found Its Niche, It's Truly Inconsequential

ISUZU

Is So Underpowered, Zooming Unlikely

JAGUAR

Just A Gorgeous, Underperforming Anglican Rip-Off

JEEP

Just Expect Endless Problems

Journey Eventually Ends Perpendicularly

Just Empty Every Pocket

KIA

Korea's Incompetence Amazing

LAND ROVER

Loud, Agonizing, Noisy Drive - Rattles On Virtually Every Road

LEXUS

Luxurious, Expensive, (a) Xenophile's Ultimate Score

LINCOLN

Large Income? No Class? Own Lincoln Now.

LOTUS

Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

MAZDA

Mismanages A Zillion Dollars Annually

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MERCEDES-BENZ

Mostly European Rich Can Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans, Beautifully Engineered, Notable Zippy

MERCURY

Most Engines Run, Contingent Upon Repair Yesterday

Mediocre Engine Revs Constantly, Really Yucky

MITSUBISHI

Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents

NISSAN

No Inspired Styling, Still, Accelerates Nicely

OLDSMOBILE

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

PLYMOUTH

Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood

PONTIAC

Put On Notice To Improve A Car

Plenty Of Numbskulls Think It's A Cadillac

Product Overabundance Necessitates Traditional Incentive Application Constantly

PORSCHE

Pity Only Rich Suckers Can Have 'Em

SAAB

Send Another Automobile Back

Swedish Autos Always Breakdown

Sure Ain't A Bimmer

SATURN

Same American Trash Under Revised Name

Stickers Are Truly Unnegotiable, Rebates Nonexistent

SUBARU

Sport Utility Buffs Are Relatively Unimpressed

Sorta Useful, But Are Really Underpowered

SUZUKI

Samurai Upended, Zealous Underwriters Keep Insisting

TOYOTA

Truly Obvious You Overestimate This Automaker

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Automobile

VW

Virtually Worthless

Vice Wagon

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Got any fresh ideas?

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