主题：家里出事情，老爸有外遇 -- 台州刺史
也是社会隐性契约，因此法律才有在离婚中保护妇女儿童权宜的社会基础，中外皆然。
甚至你的所谓净身出户的基础也是出自这里，当然是不是净身这种很量化的衡量，还是自有其算法。
但是女人为家庭的贡献并不会因为女人不上班没有对家庭做出财务贡献就可以被一笔花掉的，这是大是大非的问题，你作为一个女人，难以想像会抱持这样的观点。
婚姻中不可以用物质来计较，否则谁对家庭付出，对子女付出，许多都不是可以用金钱用利益去衡量的。相反的，算计的后果损害的也只是家庭与子女，包括男女双方自己，聪明反被聪明误啊。
不过，男女双方在这个问题还是沟通还比较重要，如果一方不认可对方的做法，比如上班或不上班，都可能长期后带来矛盾，归根结底还是两人之间的事。
是不是tvb的电视剧看多了。我怎么觉得这操作起来，难度好大。
在老男人圈，搞一个或几个小三，在男人们看来都不是大问题。
但如果搞出来了孩子，老男人都会心照不宣的明白——这家伙要出大问题。
小三事件和小三生孩子的事件，是质的不同。
如果老男人纯粹为男女之事，那这个孩子不会降生。即使小三偷偷生了，老男人也会主动站出来为了整体利益而尽力去处理这个事件。更何况，刺史的父亲还是个坐拥丰厚资产的老男人。
这些脉络，刺史要想明白。
至于如何处理，大家性格不同，也给不出啥通用的好建议。
However more admiration I have for the Trotskyists, this is one thing that we need to be aware of -- this faction has not been doing too well in real world.
It's getting things very complicated -- while they suffered horrible suppression at the hands of Stalinists, they contributed not that much to the cause of progressive movements after all.
I have been reading George Owell's 1984 with great interest and should say I do like his insights. But this book has been used by CIA to smear the socialist movements to this day.
And BTW, George himself is a confirmed rat who personally turned in fellow commnuists to British authorities.
但是这是现实，甚至是很残酷的现实。做家庭妇女的很少有过得幸福的。因为自己无法掌控自己的命运。如果老公被Layoff或是有什么意外，也包括有外遇，后面的生活该如何安置？家里的孩子需要抚养，家里的老人也需要照顾，一个家庭妇女如何承担这样的责任？
我有的时候觉得现实很讽刺。我们刚刚争取到工作的权利，参与社会建设的权利没几十年，现在又有很多妇女想回归家庭，而且很多是受过高等教育的妇女。说到底，还是思想不够独立。很多知识妇女之所以受教育，只是为了给自己积累一些资本找一个好老公。一旦找到，便甘于退居二线，哪怕自己花了十几年一直上到博士。这其实是在浪费社会资源。不如腾出地来让那些真正想学些东西，做些事的人得到这些资源。
别人怎么想我不知道，但是我是这么想的。工作很重要。它带给我经济利益无用质疑。它还带给我安全感。我觉得我有一技之长可以立足于社会。万一老公下岗，我还能支撑这个家。它还带给我丰富的社会关系。因为我的很大一部分朋友是我的同事。我们分享人生经验和互相学习专业技能。
再说夫妻之间呆在一起，老是要考验对方的道德底限，而不是相互吸引，这有什么意思？
夸夸其谈就不说了， 更多的所作所为， 让人不得不怀疑他们是拿了右派的钱，故意来卧底让左翼无所做为的。
Once took my daughter to a math tutoring class, and met a friend who were wearing a T shirt of Che's picture. Quite pleasently surprised and we had a very good chat, later become good friends.
He's quite knowledgeable and a second generation of Soviet Union immigrant, obviously of liberal/leftest idealology. And surprisingly interest in contemporary Chinese style socialism. Very well educated and intellgent.
Later on I realized that he's a Trotyskyist for certain, as he recommended me to read a book or two from Trotysky himself.
From my first hand experience, I do not believe this faction is a faction of traitors by nature. And I can say for the friend I know he is sincere.
However, their style of revolution never worked out well, and very frenquently played into the hands of the most reactionary right wing authorities.
Exactly, 没有任何解决问题的实际方案, this is the problem.
First let me reiterate that I do endose some of Emyn's criticism of almost everyone here (probably including myself) for our Petite bourgeoisie sentiments (and by the way, E herself is also Petite bourgeoisie by social standing).
It is admirable to hold the dream of communism moral standard of equal rights between genders, of equal economic rights among the people -- in this case among the little 3 and her baby and the man's wife and her adult son, and the little 3's assult on the institution of marriage.
This action itself is almost as applaudable as one brave assult toward drity old capitalism (the old man here just happen to be a fat cat who might have feasted on labor's sweat and blood).
This is the reason I do endorse E to a certain degree, as there just might be a little Trotyskyism in myself too.
However, the truth of the matter is that we are living in a world that marriage and family are still to be defended, and basic functioning social norms are still to be respected. The Trotyskyistic passion of burning down everything will still be checked every single time, unfortunately.
关键是刺史的父亲，
从对小三生孩子的过程处理上看，刺史父亲早以考虑好最坏状况。现在不过是主动摊牌。
现实点，谈谈怎么分资产吧。我感觉刺史父亲想把大部分给家族这边。剩下的带走和小三去生活。
男人在这些事情上都会征求好朋友的意见。刺史父亲也不例外。家族在男人心里其中挺重要的。
而建议多半的答案会是：家族靠得住，即使将来新的靠不住，那到时老的怎么也会给你口饭吃，儿女更不会看着老爹去要饭。
开诚布公的谈分资产吧。平和的分开。
PS.
小三主动上门，是因为对刺史父亲在资产分配上的不满态度而采取的主动行动。
在说出分配建议时，他肯定会跟小三说，‘家族这边压力太大’。而他咨询朋友的那些建议也会这么告诉他，这么对小三去说。
做儿子的威胁他老爸：如果你不放弃，以后老了就不管你。貌似很有效。
一切都有了标价，人的生命，爱情，道德，一切都有了价格。一切都可以买卖！