主题：【原创】关于拉姆斯非而德下台和萨达姆升天的关系，哈哈 -- 西瓜子

反恐四年，钦天监伯尔顿奏布什大单于，曰，上月荧惑守心，本月彗星袭紫微，皆主人主不利。

上曰，何以禳之？

对曰，以一枢相禳之。

枢相者，大帅拉姆斯非而德也，尝于南越，以一旅之师，当敌十万。短坂坡一役，拉帅以一槊一驴，三陷敌阵，夺槊三、孔雀大氅一，所部遂尽没。拉帅遽尽斩其妾，散其金，裸身大战，于万马军中抢得幼主。幼主者，即今日大单于也。帝感其恩，即位，以其为枢相。

帝默然良久，曰，萨氏达姆代之，何如？

对曰，可，然拉帅当去职。

是夜，帝披发仗剑，踏天罡步，禳星良久。

翌日，诏下，以萨氏达姆大不敬，绞立决。

以拉帅功高，赠太师，使致仕。

识者谓萨氏死非其罪，帝禳星也。

时议者窃论，伯尔顿者，或曰为南越杂种，不知其父。母甚艳，为某大将外宅，战没于短坂坡，殊可怪也。(这句后来加的，呵呵。)

时议者窃论，伯尔顿者，或曰为南越杂种，不知其父。母甚艳，为某大将外宅，战没于短坂坡，殊可怪也。

妙文也。

然西方异族亦对此事甚为关心，却苦于不易翻译，更何况直读矣。

In the fourth year of Ante Terrorisomo, Shaman Bold-Dung paid a visit to Great Chieftain Posh the Lesser. Shaman said, “O my Great Chieftain, last month I saw the Glowing Star hold the celestrial center, this month I saw a meteorite crash into the dominion of Lesser Purple Star, which are all bad omens for our glorious headman.”

Great Chieftain asked, “How can I appease the Great Power that be wisely?”

The shaman answered, “The Great Power that be can only be appeased by the sarefice of the greatest hero of our time.”

Then the one that was deemed as the greatest hero of the time was Great Warrior Rum-His-Field. He once led an expedition to pacify the tribe of Nam in the deep South, and defeated tens of thousands of their best men with only three hundred of his own. In the legendary battle of Short Slope, he charged into the enemy’s formation three times with only one spear and one donkey, seizing three spears and one chieftain’s turkey leather decoration as his trophy, while all his men were slaughtered like sheep. To revenge himself, Rum-His-Field killed all his women, gave away all his treasure, went naked, charged deep into the enemy’s ten-thousand-man formation and saved one young boy that the enemy had captivated. That young boy was later elected Great Chieftain. No, that young boy was later sacrificed during Great Chieftain’s enthroning ceremony. To honor his great valor and superhuman power, Great Chieftain appointed Rum-His-Field as his warfare adviser.

Hearing the wise words of Shaman, Great Chieftain kept a long silence, then he said, “How about Sad-as-I-Am? Although our tribe consider Rum-His-Field the greatest of all times, Sad-As-I-Am has a much greater recognition far and wide.”

Shaman answered, “O, Great Chieftain, only if you can get him. Even so, you have to avoid causing confusion to the Great Power that be by depriving Rum-His-Field of his honor and privileges.”

Great Chieftain immediately said, “For the benefit and welfare of my tribe, I will do it.” Rum-His-Field was immediately chased out of the chieftain’s tent, denounce as a coward, liar, and wanton drunkard.

In the night, Great Chieftain unbraided his hair, took his favorite sword with him, went alone into the wilds, where he held a secret ritual and prayed fervently all night long.

On the second morning, Great Chieftain held a hundred-tribe gathering to mediate the conflicts between the Iraquoians and the Kuwaytians, in the middle of which Great Chieftain suddenly announced that a poison-tainted spear called Waffle-of-Messy-Dessert was found in the sack of Sad-As-I-Am, the chieftain of the Iraquoians. The announcement immediately raised an uproar and indignations of the other gathering chieftains. They denounced the Iraquoians’ chieftain as messy murderer and his brother and handyman Poisonous Ali and they demanded Great Chieftain, the host of the gathering, to take actions to safeguard the peace of earth. Sad-As-I-Am, the greatest warrior of all times as he was, was overpowered by one thousand Great Chieftain’s warriors, who had waited outside the tent all day long, and hanged over a great sacred ritual.

The next day, Great Chieftain gathered all the chieftains, and told them that Rum-His-Field was wronged through a rumor spread by the evil Sad-As-I-Am and his greedy Iraquoian underlings, and that his reputation should be repaired and compensated by the great honor of True Guardian of Earth. This wise decision was welcomed heartily by all the tribal leaders.

Shaman Bold-Dung told this story to his successor at the deathbed and praised it as a great example how to appease the Great Power that be. His successor told it to his successor. And this great legend was related from generation to generation.

反恐元年7月,荧惑守心,越8月,而飞机撞楼矣...

反恐四年天象如何,容某再考...

反恐四年，钦天监伯尔顿奏布什大单于，曰，上月荧惑守心，本月彗星袭紫微，于人主不利。

上曰，何以禳之？

对曰，以一枢相禳之。

枢相者，大帅拉姆斯非而德也，尝于南越，以一旅之师，当敌十万。

短坂坡一役，拉帅以一槊一驴，三陷敌阵，夺槊三、孔雀大氅一，所部遂尽没。拉帅遽尽斩其妾，散其金，裸身大战，于万马军中抢得幼主。幼主者，即今日大单于也。帝感其恩，即位，以其为枢相。

帝默然良久，曰，萨氏达姆代之，何如？

伯氏语塞，良久，对曰，可，然拉帅当去职。

是夜，帝披发仗剑，踏天罡步，禳星良久。

翌日，诏下，以违命侯萨氏达姆抗拒天军，腹诽王化，群臣劾以大不敬，赐绞立决。

以拉帅功高，赠太师，使致仕。

识者谓萨氏死非其罪，帝禳星也。

时议者窃论，伯尔顿者，或曰为南越杂种，不知其父。母甚艳，为某大将外宅，战没于短坂坡，殊可怪也。

完美躲过了，共产党的百年大庆！