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主题:【求助】一辈子难得几次痛心,爱要说出来...然后呢? -- 夏亚

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      • 家园 大笑,楼主继续铁牛
        • 家园 【讨论】今天的我决不是我所希望的,续四

          我花了10年成为了一个坏人,在我的世界里不允许幸福

          这是我刚刚回国的时候,我的宣言,

          结果在第三次见到她的时候,我突然想去追求幸福了.

          今天她说她还在想念自己的ex,我只是用I understand, go on 之类的回答勉强应付,其实我知道该怎么去做,但是我做不到,祝她不老不死,青春永驻,还是分享我的永恒生命。我不知道该怎么去选择。

          其实我知道她还在怀念自己的校园生活,但是我本身是痛恨自己的校园生活的,我从小就是一个正直的人,自然学不会如何撒谎,所以很难成为一个好学生,或者说学不会隐藏自己的心中的欲念,所以在学校中的我的身份一直是旁观者.冷静的看着,如同过客。虽然我沉静于历史文字之中,骨头已经磨砺.但是我又是一名计算机工程师,现在却做着商业,真是矛盾和混乱的人生。

          但是对于喜欢这个事情,我坚信,只要我做出过努力,等待也是甜蜜的,失败也是美味的,当我再次成长,这段经历将是我的致命弱点,我必须做出抉择,其实已经做出了,但是我还是像一个高中生一样,没有了冷酷的心,想去追求幸福,这难道也是错的吗?

          大不了做她的vigin knight,又能怎么样?

          昨日和Helena一番长谈,了解了what woman wanted,和中国男人想什么,其实河里大牛很多,但是大家都已经被国外潜规则了,或者是在国内就是宅男,大家的意境都超脱了,真正的国内男性生活是一种什么态度的确让我寒心,这是我曾经发誓要保卫的国家,我的族人为什么能在这样的心态中生存?

          但是还有些事情更加困扰我,我们中国的社会和教育到底出了什么问题,为什么我们的教育不能让人成长,人都会变得那么的脆弱,为什么呢?

          PS:希望西西河的mm来帮我分析一下,这段感情究竟该怎么处理。

          昨天电话中聊到让她来我的城市,我可以养她,安排工作。但是她执意魔都,我无言。

          生活是这样的残酷,心里有了她以后,我还能活下去吗?

          我的确心有疑虑。

      • 家园
      • 家园 捶地笑......红太郎红太郎
        • 家园 为什么笑我

          难道我说错了什么

          • 家园 不是笑你....继续捶地..

            看看SUISUI为啥说红太郎...在看看我在下面起什么哄.....然后在脑子里面转一圈,我们为啥要起这个哄

            • 家园 存个货

              早在1928年,巴赫金就对形式主义者提出的交际模式进行了批判。由于形式主义者认为在两个社会成员A(作者)和B(读者)之间有现成的、静止的交际和沟通,A和B的社会关系是静止不变的,信息X是现成的,只需要由A转达给B。

              As early as 1928, Bakhtin made critical comment on the formalism of the communication mode. Since the formalism believe the two element of society A (Author) and B (the readers) were ready-made, static communication and exchange information, the Social relations between them are static, the information X is a ready-made and only deliveried by the A to the B.

              如图:

              Y

              A(作者).二≥B(读者)

              巴赫金指出这种模式是“根本错误的”,不仅“A和B之间的关系处于不断的变化和形成之中,就是在沟通过程之中他们也发生变化”,而且“也没有现成的信息沟通x,它是在A与B交际过程中形成的”,因为“沟通的东西与沟通的形式、方法和具体条件不可分割”【12】311

              Bakhtin pointed out that this model is "fundamentally wrong", not only the "A and B in a constant relationship between the ongoing change and formation, and also they are change during the process of communication “And that "there is no information readily available to communicate x, it is formed in the A and B by the process of communication"

              Because "things to communicate with the form of communication, methods, and the specific terms as an integral"

              巴赫金对缺乏对话因素、忽视参与者个性与积极性的交际模式始终持批判的态度。当然,在批判的同时,巴赫金也在逐步完善自己以对话为基石的交际模式,这里,笔者将其称之为对话交际模式。在他的新模式中,表述是核心所在,

              Bakhtin has always been critical about the lack of dialogue factors, the communication which ignore the participants even the individuality and positive patterns attitude. Of course, At the same time, Bakhtin also gradually improve his own dialogue mode as the cornerstone of, now the author name it “the dialogue model of communication”. In his new model, the expression is the core,

              巴赫金认为表述“是言语的基础单位”[14],把表述看作人类语言和文化行为的基本单元,围绕表述,他建立起自己重主体、重应答、莺复调的对话交际模式。这里。我们根据巴赫金对交际模式的独特理解,将其对话交际模式以图形的方式来表示:

              图l 巴赫金对语交际模式

              Bakhtin think that the expression "is the basic unit of speech" [14], it is the basic unit in the human language and culture behavior, focusing on that he set up his own re-main, re-response & dialogue new communication mode. Then, According to Bakhtin, his unique mode of communication for understanding the communication patterns dialogue approach this graphical to explain:

              上图所示的是一个双向传播模式,结合直观的模式图,这里从五个方面予以说明:

              第一,说者(作者)和受话人是交际的参与者。表述的重要特征“是它要诉诸某人,是它的针对性。表述既有作者,也有受话人”[7]181,受话人可能是实际对话的交谈者,可能是专家群体、听众、民众、同代人、对手和敌人、下属、上司、

              亲朋好友、陌生人等,可能是完全不确定的他人。受话人的类型及特点,主要取决于该话语所处的人类活动和日常生活的领域。

              As shown on the map is a two-way mode of transmission, combined with an intuitive model, here described from five aspects:

              First, that the person (author) and if people are participants in communication. An important feature of expression "is a person to resort to it is that it's targeted. expressed both authors, but also by what people" [7] 181, who may be affected if the actual dialogue of the conversation, and may be experts groups, the audience, the public, with the generation of people, opponents and enemies, subordinates, superiors,

              Friends, strangers, etc., may be completely sure of the others. If people affected by the type and characteristics, which mainly depends on the discourse of human activities and the areas of daily life.

              第二,说者(作者)与受话人作为主体不断更替,在对话中既保持个性又相互影响。巴赫金直言“对于话语来说(因此也是对于人来说),最可怕的莫过于没有人应答了”。[u]336一方面,“作者具有积极的主动性”,其“主动性带有特殊的对

              话性质”【4]375。另一方面,受话人对“表述的任何理解,都带有积极应答的性质(虽然这里积极的程度是千差万别的);任何理解都孕育着回答,也必定以某种形式产生回答,即听者要成为说者(‘交流思想’)”【7J151。听者、受话人的转换既表明了其相互作用和影响,也带来了言语主体的不断更替。

              turnover, not only to maintain the dialogue and character interaction. Bakhtin respect "for the words (and thus also for the people), the most terrible and no one is a response." [u] 336 On the one hand, "the authors have a positive initiative", which "carries with it special initiative on

              If the nature of "【4] 375. On the other hand, by the words of" statements of any understanding, both with the nature of a positive response (although here the degree of positive diverse); any understanding of all breeds to answer, this will surely lead to have answered in some form, that is said to be from the listener ( 'exchange of ideas') "【7J151. the listener, who by then the conversion is an indication of its interaction and impact, but also the continuous replacement of the main speech.

              第三,对话中要考虑“统觉背景”(apperception background)。统觉背景是受话人理解具体表述的背景知识,如对情景的熟悉程度,是否拥有这一文化交际领域的专门知识,观点和信念,有什么成见、好恶等【7】182。统觉背景不仅决定表述的布局和风格,还决定受话人对表述的积极的应答性理解,即决定表述的内容。

              Third, the dialogue to consider "the context of apperception" (apperception background). Apperception background, then understood by the expression of specific background knowledge, such as familiarity with the scenarios, whether the area of cultural communication expertise, views and beliefs, what prejudices, likes and dislikes, etc. 【7】 182. Apperception background not only determines the layout and style of presentation, it was also decided by the words of the expression of the positive response to the understanding that the provisions contained in the decision.

              第四,他人在对话交际中具有积极作用。在对话中,除了说者(作者)和受话人表述的回应往返,还有“他人言语”即“他人表述”,它是“言语中之言语,表述中之表述”L61466。他人言语“作为另一个人的表述为说话者所思考”[61467,也就是说,对话中的说者并不是第一个说话者,在他的表述之前,已经有他人的先行表述存在,故说者的表述总是与他人表述联系在一起。

              Fourth, the dialogue of others play an active role in communication. In dialogue, except to say who (the author) and subject to interpretation if the response from people, as well as "other words" the "other side" it is "speech in the language of the statements expressed in" L61466. Speech of others "as another expression of the thinking for the speaker" [61,467, that is, the dialogue that were not the first speaker, in his statements before the statements are first the existence of others, so that the expression is always linked with the statements of others.

              第五,表述受社会环境影响。巴赫金指出“任何表述、任何表现的组织中心,不是在内部,而是在外部:在围绕个体的社会环境之中”,【6]445肯定了表述的深层结构取决于说话者巴赫金的对话交际模式与传播学中的循环模式类似,却

              比循环模式更全面、更科学。循环模式由奥斯古德和施拉姆提出,特点是摆脱了单向传播模式的局限性,强调传播的互动性,把传播双方都看做是传播行为的主体,传播在双方的互动中往复循环,持续不断。

              Fifth, the environmental impact statement by the community. Bakhtin states that "any statements, any of the organizations performance center, not in the internal, but external: in focusing on individual and social environment", 【6] 445 affirmed the statements of the speaker depends on the deep structure of the dialogue Bakhtin communication mode and communication mode in a similar cycle, but

              Cycle model than a more comprehensive, more scientific. Cycle mode by Osgood and Schramm made, and there is a mode of transmission from the limitations of one-way, emphasizing the interaction between the spread of the spread is the spread of both acts as the main, the dissemination of the interaction of the two sides back and forth cycle continues

              巴赫金的对话交际模式在强调互动的同时,增加了一些新的要素:一是统觉背景。统觉背景的提出充分考虑到了受话人对表述形式和表述内容的影响;二是他人表述。他人表述直接影响说者和受话人表述的内容;三是社会环境。巴赫金不仅看到了对话过程中的各种内部因素,还看到了影响对话的最为关键的外部因素即社会环境。而传播学模式对传播过程中外部因素的关注。直到1970才出现在德弗勒的互动模式中,并且德弗勒互动模式中唯一的外部因素是“噪音”,远不能概括影响传播过程的复杂的外部因素。相比较而言,巴赫金的对话交际模式,无疑

              是一种令人惊异的超前思考和发现。

              Dialogue Bakhtin emphasizes interactive communication mode at the same time, an increase of some new elements: First, the background apperception. Apperception sufficient background to take into account the statements by the words of the form and content of the impact statements; Second, statements of others. Statements of others that directly affect the people and subject to the provisions contained in words; Third, social environment. Bakhtin saw the process of dialogue is not only a variety of internal factors, but also to see the impact of dialogue on the most critical external factors that the social environment. Model the spread of the process of dissemination of the concerns of external factors. Until 1970, only appear in the interactive mode DeFleur and DeFleur interactive mode only the external factors are "noise", far from being able to summarize the complexity of the impact of the dissemination process of the external factors. Comparatively speaking, the dialogue Bakhtin communication mode is a kind of amazing to think and find in advance.

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