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主题:【原创】有关最近一些时事新闻的屁股 -- 李禾平

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      • 家园 受不了了,笑得肚子疼

        Jim Hacker: Don't tell me about the Press. I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by people who own the country. The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country. The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who think it is.

        Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?

        Bernard Woolley: Sun readers don't care who runs the country - as long as she's got big tits.

        我在Youtube上找到了视频[FLASH]http://www.youtube.com/v/cxdMFRwztl4[/FLASH]

        这个是美国版的:

        A Guide to U.S. Newspapers

        1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

        2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

        3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.

        4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.

        5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.

        6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

        7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

        8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

        9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.

        10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

        • 家园 中国版

            《RMEB》人民日报,是管理这个国家的人读的,

            《CKXX》参考消息,是自认为在管理这个国家的人读的,

            《HQEB》红旗日报,是自认为应该管理这个国家的人读的,

            《BJZC》北京之春,是那些认为这个国家该有别的国家来管理的人读的,

            《NFZM》南方周末,是那些不知道谁在管理这个国家却坚信他们做的不对的人读的,

            《JPGWZN》精品购物指南,管理这个国家的人的夫人们读的,

            《NK》内参,是拥有这个国家的人读的,

            《XHRB》新华日报,是那些认为国家该像早先那样来管理的人读的,

            《ZGQNB》中国青年报,是那些仍旧认为这还是他们的国家的人读的,

            《SJFWDB》申江服务导报,的读者可不管谁管理这个国家,只要报纸厚到可以垫桌子就行。

          • 家园 看来我们是用同一份报纸垫桌子的啊
          • 家园 NK那个说的最经典
          • 家园 不错,除了新华日报

            新华日报是江苏省委机关报,红旗是杂志社及其刊物名称,现在是《求是》。除了这两条,别的至少名称不错。花上三个台阶。

          • 家园 哈哈,这个不错

            南方周末,是那些不知道谁在管理这个国家却坚信他们做的不对的人读的。

            这个总结很妙!这是后来有人发挥说是英国“独立”报的。

          • 家园

            不过红旗日报是哪里的报纸?

    • 家园 楼主书写功夫了得啊,观点更是举手举脚赞同

      不知道谁说的,鼓吹思想解放的人,往往是钳制思想的魔鬼。

    • 家园 好文章啊!花之
    • 家园 我想从另外一个角度来看看这个问题

      事情或许没有那么复杂,就是一个字作怪,钱。

      西方的媒体,大多不是政府包办的,生存是他们的第一要务,就是说要有盈利了。

      怎样才能盈利呢?当然是销量/收视率越大,广告越多,钱就越多了。

      怎样才能扩大销量/收视率呢?那就要有大新闻了,符合日常道德规范,(总不成去歌颂一个强奸犯吧?),如果是独家的更好。新闻的时效很短,真实性就不必强求了,有当然好,错了,最多事后发个声明,在某个不显眼的角落。

      对照一下这回西藏的事情,有几个特点符合这个挣钱的要求:

      其一,是大事,死人了,中国倒霉了

      其二,先树立一个邪恶TG的形象,再树立一个以弱抗强的达赖形象,完美的道德规范

      其三,想办法从那个流亡政府收集材料,抢先发布,越耸人听闻越好

      结果就是销量/收视率大增,白花花的银子流入了股东的腰包。。。。。

      至于全球华人的抗议,那个是没有关系的,他们的读者对象不是华人,不会影响他们的收入的。

      话说回来,西方政府会不会利用这些媒体来获得政治上的利益呢?当然会,但是,你有证据吗?

      结论:西方媒体也就是那么回事,他们也要吃饭,他们说的,不必太上心,自己的分辨力最重要。

    • 家园 花这句

      于是他们就恐怖得每个晚上睡不着觉,都不敢数羊了,而是数中国人,可是越数越睡不着。

      • 家园 一句YY的话爽成这样

        不知道他们还怕不怕印度?岂不是连着两个晚上税不着。

      • 家园 13亿的中国人是那儿来的呢

        不得不承认,毛的一些决策现在看来还是利大于弊的啊。

        难道他真的是超越回去的?

    • 家园 花!多的是那些用屁股去嗅盖子里面的味道的。

      谁说不是呢?

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