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主题:Taylor Branch:劈波蹈海——MLK三部曲之一 -- 万年看客

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商榷
家园 商商商

6:过译是我一贯的坏习惯,只能努力克制,想改还有些难度。您说加译者注是正理,不过这样一来我怕会打断读者阅读。至于《音响的动机》这个译法是现成的。https://www.marxists.org/chinese/reference-books/guillen/marxist.org-chinese-poem-Guillen.htm

一 先说一下正理,

"By 1930 he had not only published his first book of poems, Motivos de son [Son Motifs], but had also established a reputation as a journalist."

Motivos de son introduced to a literary audience the son, a sensual Afro-Cuban dance rhythm. "The stir these poems provoked," wrote Kutzinski, "remains unparalleled in Cuban literary history: while their reception was largely enthusiastic, some critics were also disturbed by the aesthetic and social implications of Guillen's literary use of the son, a popular musical form with a strong black component." With the rhythmic patterns of the son, Guillen evoked the energetic flavor of black life in and around Havana.

。。。

Guillén—a mulatto himself—did not exoticize Afro-Cubans but described their everyday life, in particular the racism and poverty that was pervasive in their lives. In addition, these poems paid homage to the Cuban son—a genre that was originally associated with the lower Afro-Cuban classes but eventually came to be embraced by Cubans across class and race.

son不是任意的音响,而是一种特殊的古巴黑人的音乐形式。

而诗集的内容是黑人的生活的各个侧面,

所以只能翻译成 《古巴"宋"乐的主题》 —— 英译是 Motifs of Son

而不是能是音响的动机——这个名字让人不知所云,还以为是什么艰深的哲学思考。

试想一下,我写了几首小诗,描绘江上渔夫,山间樵者,湖中的采莲人,明月楼上的思妇,这些都是民乐的常见题材,我将这些小诗编为诗集,《民乐的主题》是个不坏的集名。假如有人将它译成《音响的动机》,肯定不能接受的。

PS,开始我还以为这个译名是译者从英文本译过来,因为不通西语,翻字典查出来的,后来放狗搜了下,才知道译者是个著名的西语翻译家,真是让人无语。

至于说到现成,我想流传甚广的可以因约定俗成而沿用,而没几个人知道的,就该赶紧纠错,我想万年兄如果译到某书中有《Parting the Waters》,是不会因现成而采用《分水岭》这个译法的。

9:金的计划是首先用利益拉拢影响力最大的会众,因此才会提出对他们有利的改革。

不是这样的,这个地方的确有点容易让人误解。

金的改革根本目的在于

把自己的权威落到实处,提名那些人,并不能让那些人获利,而只是保证他们有一定的利益保障,不会被完全踢开,因此反应不会那么强烈。

金要杜绝的是,泛泛地声称接受自己的权威,却在现实中把自己架空。

这里对应的是前面这句

Had it stood alone, King’s preface would have sounded defensively audacious. Most probably, he could have gotten the congregation to adopt it as a resolution, but the church powers on whom he served notice would have bided their time and in the long run the resolution would have had little effect. King did not take that chance.

他的基本策略是,接受我的权威,就得接受我的安排,不能宣称

接受我的权威,而在教会实务不听我的安排。如果在教会实务上不接受我的安排,就是不接受我的权威。

they could validate his authority along with his recommendations, or could challenge them both

不接受我的权威,那我转身就走

It was Thermidor, a royalist counterattack, with implicit warning that if the nobles resisted, King would leave Dexter before they could celebrate his arrival.

14:史密斯一家的穷困潦倒状况对于公关宣传很不利,所以我才采用了“丢脸”的译法,对应后文中帕克斯的体面端庄。

not have a leg to stand on

to be in a situation where you cannot prove something

The problem is, if you don't have a witness, you don't have a leg to stand on.

I haven't even got the receipt to prove where I bought it, so I don't have a leg to stand on.

史密斯一家的穷困潦倒,尤其是父亲酗酒,会让人们对她失去信任。

这样的话,她说的话就得不到证明。

以她为中心的诉讼就会败诉。

这才是主线。

穷困潦倒,父亲酗酒是很丢脸,这是个事实,

但这句话并没有在说这个事实,

而是在说这个事实对诉讼产生的影响——让我们的声言站不住脚。

这周比较忙,不进行大的校译了,先回应一下这个商榷吧。

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