主题：【原创】一个老实男生的故事 -- 故园湾里
恭喜：你意外获得【通宝】一枚
鲜花已经成功送出。
此次送花为【有效送花赞扬，涨乐善、声望】
——比如这个……。
也许我只能算是成长在这样的父母身边了，离开他们到上海来读书工作也已经快10年了……泪奔～～～
恭喜：你意外获得【通宝】一枚
鲜花已经成功送出。
此次送花为【有效送花赞扬，涨乐善、声望】
关键还是心态吧。
之前看过一篇文章叫“爱情博弈论”，里面提到了“多次博弈”的概念。
两个囚徒分别被审问，相互不能串供。如果两个人都承认，则各被扣留8年；如果一人承认另一人不承认，承认者放走，并且得到奖赏，不承认的被扣留10年，并且被罚款；如果两人都不承认则因证据不足各被扣留1年。
对于这个情况，最理想的状况就是两个人都不承认，这样就都蹲一年就好了。类似的，就是在生活中，大家都选择真诚善良，这样大家都能得到比较好的收益。但是问题是，假定A选择承认的话，B最好是选择承认，否则就要被严重处罚；假定A选择否认的话，B最好还是选择承认，因为这样不仅被放走，还可以得到奖金。就是说，不管A什么态度，B的最佳选择都是承认。反过来，不管B什么态度，A的最佳选择也是承认。结果，两个人都会选择承认。
这样看来，世界就太黑暗了，大家都要避免损失，所以都要虚伪……
但是，事情也不是那么惨淡的，后来美国密歇根大学的罗伯特.爱克斯罗德(Robert Axelrod)进行了一场计算机竞赛的试验，让大家重复的，多次的进行这样的游戏：每人扮演“囚徒困境”案例中一个囚犯的角色，他们开始玩“囚徒困境”的游戏，每个人都要在合作与背叛之间做出选择。关键问题在于，他们不只玩一遍这个游戏，而是一遍一遍地玩上200次，这就是所谓的“重复的囚徒困境”，于是这就更逼真地反映了日常人际关系。最后算谁的总分高。
结论很有意思，是说大家都要善意一点，乐观一点，但是又要以牙还牙以眼还眼，这样从长期来看是最好的测量。
所以采薇mm的策略还是不错的哟，呵呵
以前看过关于第二个实验的贴子，真伪不知道。据说结果是：最好的策略是仅根据对方上一次采取的行为进行决策，决策依据就是简单地以德报德、以直报怨。
不过真正的人际环境中各种倾向的比例不太好确定。另外，人是可以学习的。如果考虑这两种因素，这个程序需要对多种社会环境进行模拟。
挺有意思。
具体内容是发表在学术刊物上面了的
呵呵，碰到有“考据癖”的我，总是要找到出处才甘心呀
1. "Effective Choice in the Prisoner's Dilemma", Robert Axelrod, The Journal of Conflict Resolution, Vol. 24, No.1 (Mar., 1980), 3-25.
2. "More Effective Choice in the Prisoner's Dilemma", Robert Axelrod, The Journal of Conflict Resolution, Vol. 24, No. 3(Sep., 1980), 279-403.
That works in general case. However, honest won't go wrong in a long run. Several years ago, in my previous group, my boss kicked one postdoc off, a Turkey lady. The fight between this lady and my boss was very fierce. The lady charged the boss to the department chairman, and Dean of the Institue. Finally she even sued the boss in the local court.
So, when that lady was looking for a job, none of other group members, Yankees, Indians, were willing to, or dare, write any recommendation letters for her. Their excuses were pretty funny: they didn't know each other very well in terms of scientific expertise - they used to talk together so much in the last half year, and hugged so well in parties. Moreover, the reference letter is simply for a postdoctoral position, not for applying a faculty position. At that time, I was the only guy who dare write a recommendation with high risk, though the letter objectively reflected her talent as well as personality while no mention why she left the group. Luckily, her future boss, a guy in South Africa accepted her. Actually, this lady is really talented as well as motivated. Later, she was nominated as National Women in Science Award of South Africa in 2005.
The funny thing is later, after two years, in one Gordon research conference, it happened that South Afrian guy also attended this conference, and shared a room with my boss. It seemed these two belonged to the same type of person, and they became friends very soon. They had an overnight talk in the first day. Certainly this Turkey lady became their topic for her uneven performance. Also no doubt, the South African guy told my boss about the recommendation letter sent to him by me.
In the breakfast time of the next day, I met my boss in the Buffet dining Hall. My boss took his breakfast, seated himself beside me at the same table, and started the dining conversation. He said he didn't sleep at all last night, because he met Oz's (Turkey lady name) African boss, and they had an over-night talk. They chatted a lot about issues like how to run a group, and how difficult to hire a right employee. Suddenly, he stared at me, and asked me, "Did you write a recommendation letter for Oz?" I froze for a couple of seconds, and responded his staring with another one. " Don't panic". Then I answered, "Yes. I simply want to give her a chance." "Take it easy. Dont' feel this is burden." Boss tried to make me at ease. "I won't punish you."
What happened was later, he put me on the category that people are extremely objective and honest, and let me check his work frequently. Also, my impression about boss changed a lot: he is mean but he is objective also.
TFT(Tit for Tat) 针锋相对.
本朝太祖 对 华国的一个很经典的评价是 他最大的优点就是老实,可老实也就是没用的代名词
“谁让你像隔壁张木匠！”这话也只是你长大了才说的吧。小时候，可不能说哦，搞不好给孩子留心理阴影了。
也许当时的一些观念和现在的一些观念有些冲突！也举一个例子：非典后我也有一次相亲，那段时间有点魂不守舍，毕竟前一个错过了。
长话短说，这个对象在第二次见面时问了我一个问题“你结婚以后还和父母住么？”回答是“肯定的。”因为我在上海买房子就是接父母来上海的，母亲的退休工资在上海接近最低水平，父亲还没有退休，只有单位发放的下岗生活费12,000分——折合人民币120.00元。
这个对象马上告诉我，她的一个同学是给一个香港老头作外室，每月吃香喝辣的……；她自己的工资每月2万5，她的部门经理年轻有为，每月工资10万……；我这个人就是老实，老实就是无用，现在要能人……
我也不傻，等她口水喷完，我问一句“你想让我怎么做？”“你房子卖掉，我家贴点钱算首付，然后其余部分一起还……”后来是不欢而散，后来她倒是结婚了，和那位年轻有为——55岁的部门经理双宿双飞，两口子住女方家里，至于买房子？男的很明确——钱被前妻拿走了，现在双方工资加起来只有6,000元，买什么房子?
后来她老娘曾对介绍人和我老娘叹苦经，她们的回答是“没人逼你，自己找的！”
我现在的朋友就没有这种要求，我很满意，她也很满意……
才发现写错了,不过不改了,毕竟COO引用了,改了不厚道.