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家园 我看到一名心理医生

从心理学的角度如何看待《50度灰》这样的一段关系的文章。

作为一名医生,我强烈建议你,不要去看《五十度灰》。让自己了解真相,向你的朋友们解释为什么他们也不应该去这部电影。

  1.Girls want guys like Christian who order them around and get rough.

  误区一:女生们喜欢像克里斯蒂安这样的男生对她们发号施令,并且动粗。

  No! A psychologically healthy woman avoids pain. She wants to feel safe, respected and cared for by a man she can trust. She dreams about wedding gowns, not handcuffs.

  不对!心理健康的女性会避免痛苦。在一个她信任的男人那里,她想要感到安全感,受他尊重,被他照顾。她会憧憬婚礼礼服,而不是手铐。

  2.Guys want a girl like Anastasia who is meek and insecure.

  误区二:男生喜欢像安娜斯塔西娅这样温顺,没有安全感的女生。

  Wrong. A psychologically healthy man wants a woman who can stand up for herself. If he is out of line, he wants her to set him straight.

  不对。心理健康的男人想要的是能捍卫自己的女人。如果他做出什么出格的事情,他希望她能纠正他。

  3.Anastasia exercises free choice when she consents to being hurt, so no one can judge her decision.

误区三:安娜斯塔西娅同意被伤害时,她是自愿的,所以没人能批评她的选择。

  Flawed logic. Sure, Anastasia had free choice – and she chose poorly. A self-destructive decision is a bad decision.

  有逻辑错误。确实,安娜自己是自由选择的,但是她的决定做得很糟糕。自毁的决定是个错误的决定。

  4. Anastasia makes choices about Christian in a thoughtful and detached manner.

  误区四:安娜斯塔西娅对克里斯蒂安所做的选择是深思熟虑和客观的。

  I doubt that. Christian constantly supplies Anastasia with alcohol, impairing her judgement. Also, Anastasia becomes sexually active with Christian – her first experience ever – soon after meeting him. Neuroscience suggests their intimacy could jump start her feelings of attachment and trust, before she’s certain he deserved them. Sex is a powerful, intense experience – particularly the first time. Finally, Christian manipulates Anastasia into signing a legal agreement prohibiting her from telling anyone that he is a long time abuser.

  我怀疑这一点。克里斯蒂安不断给安娜提供酒精,混淆她的判断。而且安娜第一次见克里斯蒂安之后不久,就和他保持活跃的性行为。神经科学表示他们的亲密关系不应该在她感到爱慕和信任之前就形成,她应该先确定他是否值得。性是一个强烈的经历,特别是第一次。最后,克里斯蒂安还影响安娜,让她签了一份法律协议,禁止她告诉任何人他是个长期虐待狂。

  Alcohol, sex, manipulation – hardly the ingredients of a thoughtful, detached decision.

  酒精,性,操纵,并不是深思熟虑和客观决定的内容。

  5. Christian’s emotional problems are cured by Anastasia’s love.

  误区五:克里斯蒂安的情感问题被安娜斯塔西娅的爱所治愈。

  Only in a movie. In the real world, Christian wouldn’t change to any significant degree. If Anastasia was fulfilled by helping emotionally disturbed people, she should have become a psychiatrist or social worker.

  只有电影里面会。在现实生活中,克里斯蒂安并不会做出任何大的变化。如果安娜是因为帮助心理失常的人,而感到满足的话,她应该成为精神病医生或者社工。

  6. It’s good to experiment with sexuality.

  误区六:对性进行试验是件好事。

  Maybe for adults in a long term, healthy, committed, monogomous relationship, AKA “marriage”. Otherwise, you’re at high risk for STDs, pregnancy, and sexual assault. It’s wise to be very careful who you allow to get close to you, physically and emotionally, because just one encounter can throw you off track and change your life forever.

  可能对于长期处于一段健康,忠诚,一夫一妻的关系,也即“婚姻”中的成年人来说是这样的吧。否则,你就很有可能得性病,怀孕和被性侵犯。仔细决定谁能在身体和情感两方面和你非常亲密,较为明智。因为只要一个,就能让你脱离正轨,永远改变你的生活。

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